bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
