how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also, beer. Big fan.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
