I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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