all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you never un-have a 4some
Terrible idea I love it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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