So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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