yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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