The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
