You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
