I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
