I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
