I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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