He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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