my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize