Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
