I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
