D3 body, D1 cock
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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