hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
