How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize