At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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