I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize