yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
