You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
