Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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