And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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