I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
