im drinking this country out of the recession.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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