Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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