I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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