i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
