My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
