I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
