Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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