He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
