thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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