He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
