I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize