i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
