I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
