on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
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She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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