Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i out mim tonsoeep
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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