Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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