Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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