New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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