we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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