i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
