Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
