No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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