if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
