dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
