dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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