Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
