so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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