The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I believe in your delicious
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
