She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
