Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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