do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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