To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
