Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize