I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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