atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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